Start with Why
“Why” is the visionary, “why” is the passion, “why” is the belief in what you are doing. That is what gets people to act, to buy if that is your goal, and simply to #makeachange.
When you get into “how” it gets into the logistics of the situation or endeavor. This is helpful for convincing the hold outs in either direction, but imperative nonetheless.
Then you get to the “what” this is the common territory, where everyone can chime in, where everyone can understand, but where no one acts upon. Ironically this is where every non-successful influcencer tries to communicate from.
How great leaders inspire action | Simon Sinek
Negotiation is Giving First
The way you put your words can be immeasurable in the amount of impact you have on a certain person. Once they hear you it is yes or no from there. Their choice has a slim chance to change due to the way our natures work, but once they make up their mind there is no turning back for the most part.
This is why the initial interaction is the most important, the first impression.
You start with what the person has, then what you can give them, then finally what you can do together.
How To Influence People With Your Word Choice
Story Telling is Making Someone Feel
Content creators all over the internet all have one mindset when creating: “What do I want my audience to feel?”
The magical science of storytelling | David JP Phillips | TEDxStockholm
David explains that in order to convey a message through storytelling you need to induce the natural hormones and chemicals in the brain that create trust, focus, bonding, and motivation.
Those are Dopamine, Oxytocin, and Endorphins, in a combination of what he calls the “Angel’s Cocktail”.
You have to initiate the feeling of belonging, the closeness, and the laughter of connection. The basic compounds of bridging two people together. The singular audience member, and the person speaking. In this case you!
Build Suspense, create Empathy, then create a Cliffhanger and/or make them laugh. -David Phillips
If you can do both of the latter parts it will be much stronger, just harder to accomplish!
Bringing it all Together!
Now I am simply writing this post today because I felt that these ideas and facts need to combined in a unique way. Maximizing the output that you can create when doing so you maximize your influence in this conversation or story.
- WHY/HOW/WHAT YOU HAVE
- WHY/HOW/WHAT I CAN GIVE YOU
- WHY/HOW/WHAT WE CAN DO TOGETHER
Covering all the bases this will lead to a strong argument (in a good and kind way), then convinces the person to join with you. If can involve the storytelling in that sequence it would be perfect, but you won’t always be able to, so in this case that it is not possible. Insert the story before or after, but again it is preferred IN the sequence.
Storytelling and Negotiation are normally two different things, sometimes very different, but both are ways to convince someone to do something for you. Rather that be that you are trying to get them to improve their life, or trying to get them to work for you. Whatever the goal is, as long as it is just and right, then this is the way to get it accomplished. I would say to combine them for a bulletproof strategy, and for content creators.
Keep in mind I could not have complied this together without the great minds in the videos David Phillips, Charisma on Command, and Simon Sinek! Credit to them for the research.