NOW Page #21 April 2022

TL:DR | Backed up to the wall, with nothing left to lose. What would you do if you were in that position?

4 min read

In a world filled with darkness... imagine that with the movie trailer voice, but seriously our world is full of both good and bad. Life is a roller coaster, and this is something I have been saying for years. It is something that certain philosophies have been saying for thousands of years. The Buddhists, and sometimes Taoists, talk about the ups and downs, in relation to the hum of life. It is all about bringing yourself back to the middle, or as the Buddhists call it the 'Middle Way'.

Ironically my personal principle in life is balance, and it has been that way for as long as I can remember. I don't even think philosophies like Buddhism or anything else actually inspired that in me. It just was there from a young age, and when digging into various religions/beliefs they would just corroborate that notion.

I bring this up because I am out of balance, and unfortunately that makes me annyoed/mad with myself. Which then puts me FURTHER out of balance, but today I am hoping to keep climbing back out.

I don't want to admit this, but I stayed in bed until around 2pm. Granted I slept 5pm to 8pm last night because I was tired, and so that messed up my sleep schedule. However I try not to ever let myself sleep past 10am, let alone 9am, in an effort to at least try to use my day well.

This act of laziness, however needed it may have been, is messing with my mindset. I went for a podcast walk (which I have been putting off lately), drank water more, and now I am trying to get all the content pieces done that I need to work on TODAY. Last month I failed to get the Now Page Update out until a week later, which is unacceptable!

What am I doing... NOW? April 2022

I'm going to look back at this point in my life and think "man I wish I worked harder", or perhaps the opposite "I should have rested more". In either case my next step seems clear to me, as much as I don't want to admit it. I have been looking for a job for literal years, and even more eagerly over the past two years. Considering how covid really changed things up.

Although even though I have been looking, applying, networking, and more; There is a surprising lack of jobs that are worth while out there. Even places like GameStop or fast food are carefully hiring because they don't have enough hours to spare.

This leads me to believe that perhaps I am not meant to get a job at this point. Unless some opportunity comes up that is unforgettable of course. I have been wanting to build out the tasteful monetization structures for PolyInnovator anyways for years. Perhaps I need to triple down on content and PolyPRO in order to be successful at this time.

Currently I am wasting my days IMO, and have been severely lacking in motivation. However I feel that I am getting backed up into a wall, and I almost feel helpless about it.

In a bigger view #MACRO, What's Coming up

I still have a couple side endeavors that need to be mentioned: the BeyondWords voice recordings so that these blog posts can use my voice, as well as transcribing all of my interviews. However both of those have been difficult to get done, but I plan on getting them done at some point.

As for the active endeavors that I need to put out in the world... I still have the goal to make 60 pieces of content a day straight. Here is the deal about that, it isn't just an arbitrary number. I have a few dozen posts I HAVE to get out before I can start working on the next items.

Some have to do with the umbrella meta-niche in the polymathy space, and the others have to do with the two main topics of focus right now. Those being the Modular Degree (as well as changing education), and the Notion PolyInnovation Operating System templates.

Was never one for letting go
It felt like everybody had to let me know
What the hell ya doing kid
All the plans you’re making getting way too big

They tell me I’m broken, Outta my mind
Head in the clouds I’m doing just fine
Shooting for greatness, aimed at the sky
I won’t know til I try

I got big dreams, big dreams calling me
I got big dreams, and nothings stopping me
I don’t care what they’re saying about me
I’m happy dancing to my own beat

Through the years I had to fall
I had to give up everything to get it all
I checked my pride at the door
Had to look inside to pick myself up off the floor

Now I feel weightless, now I feel high
Head in the clouds I’m doing just fine
Shooting for greatness, aimed at the sky
I won’t know til I try

-The Score - Big Dreams ft. FITZ

Combine this with all of the various extra pieces of content I intend to do, such as the Now page updates, PolyPRO posts (it is "extra" because it is in a beta phase right now), and really any of my response posts (like blog responses to videos). Those all help supplement the overall content ecosystem.

One of my goals earlier this year was to get my watch later playlist down, as it was at over 750 videos. In a combination of moving to other playlists, watching some, deleting some, and now responding to some via content; I have gotten them down to less than 90!!!

The other goal was more of a decompression thing, which for me is video games. The game I have been playing the most is Apex Legends, a competitive esports game, and I have ranked up higher than I ever did before. Meaning the two goals I set for myself, while not really prudent to the main goals, they still got done in their own ways.

Progress is still progress, even if it is in another area.

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