I Almost Gave Up

TL:DR | I have been going through a massive shift in my life, and it is weighing me down. Then in the event it doesn’t just yet I give myself a hard time. This self-abusive cycle coupled with working and hustling at 110% for most of last year I completely crashed.


3 min read
I Almost Gave Up

Now at the beginning of this year I started to slowly get back on track, but I would think to myself is this even worth it? Should I maybe try something else, maybe my passion was wrong, maybe it wasn’t what I really wanted. Then I would think to myself “What do I want?”. This just lead to one existential crisis after another. I had the realization though that despite mentally, and really even emotionally being lost, my subconscious still acted upon my life.

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
-Steve Jobs

Even though I am just a little bit into my future I looked back at the past couple weeks, and realized that I had been working on my goal without even realizing it. I had shut down my website because it was working for what I intended to create, and the platform was too simple for the complex goal I have in mind. I started looking at Wordpress, and even bought a theme pretty rashly. For those who wonder I got the KLEO theme, as it is a buddypress capable theme, and I can make a network on it.

Edit: On a side note in retrospect this was right after I faced a deep burn out, and was still exploring various Wordpress options.

Continuing Onward

Earlier today I told myself I should write a blog post today, but I didn’t “feel” like it. Terrible excuse I know, but a lot of my Self-Development habits have gone kaput. I will build them back up again, and moments ago I was thinking and thinking. As if it was an epiphany I rushed straight to my computer, and opened Medium, then started typing. That creative rush could not be ignored, as my goal in life is pretty grand. Most people would say it is impossible, and I should focus on something else. Same as what I was sadly thinking prior.

Though I had a realization, while imagining I was conversing with my aunt haha, that all the greats of the past their goals were set so high people thought they were crazy. Then they ended up being successful, and now I don’t think I will be successful or not. I know I will be, and the reason why is that my goal is so far fetch that if I even get a mile ahead instead of the full marathon then I am still one mile ahead of where I am now.

I should probably stop holding out on you anymore, or you may leave, well my intention out of life is to create a city. Not just any city, but the very creation that pushes humanity forward into a new era. In any science fiction media you see some company, organization, or city that pushes the planet into a new age of enlightenment. This organization creates bleeding edge technology, new age philosophy, and overall a better world. Leading the rest of the world to follow in it’s footsteps.

It is my dream to create the physical representation of the United Living Construct in this light. I have started by working on a platform for change, using the #MAKEACHANGE (feel free to steal that and use it too!) to inspire people to stand up. I bought the new website theme and domain, to transform the U.L.C. into something better than it was. A U.L.C. 2.0 if you will, or technically speaking 3.0! When I had my doubts I thought that I would have to give up on the city idea and stick to something simpler like an online platform solely to be successful. However it is the craziest ideas that become that of legends and true success.

This being said I still face the issue of creating it in a form that can be self-sustaining monetarily, as at the moment it is coming from just my own pocket. This isn’t a plea for funds by any means, just if you have any ideas (especially ones that aid towards the world changing ideology) then please do share!

See you in the future!


Hello, future me here.

I thought I'd expand upon this two years later. Late last year I decided in order to catch up with releasing my #Polycast interviews, that I would release one daily as best I could.

I did at least 36 in that time, and for the last two weeks of December I felt the signs of burnout again. I was facing really annoying technical problems with this site at the time, and trying to keep up with releasing episodes.

I learned from the past time, and decided to take it as a reitoff period. I think that was wise, as when the new year hit I was back off to the races.

Managed to get the site working, and now am going through all the plans I had.

So I'd like to tell you that if you are going through a burnout period, or even just feel close; That it doe pass, and you CAN make it through.


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The Future of Daily Life

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