I've been writing the various blog posts that I am trying to get out, i.e. "How to Micro-Focus as a Polymath", or even a hidden PolyPRO post that I haven't publicly talked about. In that latter one I had a section where I used the same title as this Codex entry.
I have been in an emotional slump of sorts, but also feeling better spiritually. Sometimes the various Pillars switch focus naturally. It seems like that is what is happening.
My Four Pillars philosophy was simply made as a modern interpretation of a global understanding. I've seen other four pillars all across global cultures, and I have been spending most of my life learning from philosophies and beliefs from around the globe.
My love of philosophy is innate, but I had a mentor of sorts in high school. A teacher who taught a class "Classical Ideas and World Religions", his name was George Frissell. Sadly, he passed in the last couple years. I failed to hear about it up until recently, and I made a PolyCast explaining my attachment to him. A really compassionate man.
I'd love for you to check it out, and if you like it there is another podcast that did an interview and celebration of life episode of him:
I listened to this one this morning.
A Secret PolyPRO Post
The reason why it is secret is that it is about a romance I had this Summer, that was more of a deep connection than a romance. I'm not sure what to call it, a situationship as the kids say, and led me to finding a dear friend.
What started out as attraction on my side, and what I perceived as such on her's; Ended up with us just being close in general. That is what truly matters, and in the midst of that romantic emotional roller coaster I was struggling to understand my Emotions Pillar. That is something I am not used to, as my emotional constitution is quite tempered, and I find that I can usually detect my emotions quite well.
What confused me was the depth of how I felt, and the sadness of her inevitable departure. She was bound to leave at the end of July, and I knew that. Thus the idea of attachment came to mind, as I was attached to feeling she gave me. The closeness, and that level of attachment may have been real. However it was not meant to last, and I grew anxious because it was all new.
I was spiraling which again is not something I am used to, and I used Stoicism and Taoism to ground myself. I may or may not send out the post behind the paywall, but it is very personal. I figured if I did release it would be for people who care enough about me to pay for the PolyPRO. More importantly I wrote it to understand my own thoughts, not to share with the world.
As they say in Buddhism you must find that "low hum", which is referencing the flatline of life. We are going to have ups and downs, and we must not get lost in them.
The Mindset of the Moment
I am watching this right now, as it is something I have held off from viewing for a hot minute. Purely because of laziness as it is a long video, and the speaker is engrossing. So much so I can't really speed up the video like normal.
One of the biggest messages from Shi Heng Yi, was that of being present in the moment. I found myself centering myself in my last job where the stress was originating from, and in doing so I was able to enjoy the company of others there more. I was able to focus on the tedious work more. Finally, I was able to focus on my friend whom I care for so much.
At 1:08:00 in the video above, he talks about the fear of the future. I was worried about losing my friend that I had met last month. We had only known each other a month, but she was the very first person I met at the new job. We spent most of our time together in that short time span. It was lovely, and I didn't want it to end. I became anxious about the future, and knowing that there was a definitive end date caused me to fear the future.
However because of my background in philosophy, I was able to identify that I was getting too caught up in what could be. #futurospective
I used Taoism, Stoicism, and Buddhism, to ground myself into the present. It was very hard actually in retrospect, and I am surprised I had the mindfulness to do it. I even wrote some reminders on my arm in sharpie to get myself to remember. #AmorFati #MementoMori #WuWei
Grounding Yourself to the Moment
Even now when writing this I want to mentally go back to experience those highs and lows in my head, and I can tell I am stuck in the past with that line of thought. I mentioned earlier too I was thinking of my late teacher/mentor who passed. In both cases I am getting myself stuck in the past.
Conversely, thinking about my content business, or about what I am going to be doing over the next few months. It is getting too caught up in the future.
Luckily, I find myself once being able to bring myself back to the present moment. I remembered how when I started doing interviews I ACTIVELY tried to make sure I did "active listening" to my guests. That way I wouldn't interrupt them, or think too far ahead. I think it was one of the wisest things I've ever done, and yet I started to slip after 80 guests. The last 16 I got too in a rhythm, and probably over confident in my skills. I don't think I messed up on that front, but I should have stayed ever more present. Which is something I will do better with when I restart them.
My point is that when watching the video above I found myself active listening, and trying hard to be in the moment.