I feel as if I have been going on autopilot. Now despite the negativity of the "TL:DR" section of this post, or in other words the excerpt. I do feel alright, and I don't think I am as depressed as I was earlier this year.

I feel derailed because I still haven't found a consistent income, and just been resourceful on that front since 2019. From the focus on swim lessons in the Summer, to my temp jobs like MBS or SPIRIT.

While I won't go into details my family has broken up over the past couple years. One uncle went awol, and there was a rift between some other close family members.

What am I doing... NOW? December 2022

I feel like I am on the cusp of finishing the posts I've been working on all year. To be fair to myself there was a lot happening over the course of the year that distracted me, and moreover than that the posts themselves needed to be written in a certain way. That way being done AFTER working on my Notion Templates, as well as after working on the Multidisciplinary Spectrum (that I improved on this year).

I also needed to be in the right mindset for them, as it wasn't just any generic post. For example I have been doing these Now Page updates for 29 months in a row, and it comes rather easy for me to create them. In fact it is the video that usually gets in my way because I'm too lazy to edit.

My point is that I can crank out the written portion quickly, and be quite satisfied with the quality. A majority of my blog posts are like that, where I am able to write them swiftly. However these special posts require a bit more finesse, and/or a certain mindset to be in.

In other news more personally, I have been obsessed with the game State of Decay 2. I've been trying to work my way up to the highest level of difficulty. The Lethal mode is brutal, and will put you to the test. I like the training it gives me to think critically, and the ability to manage a group of survivors in the post-apocalyptic world.

In a bigger view #MACRO, What's Coming up

WORLD DOMINATION. No not really, but I often think in the big picture. Which is probably why I struggle a lot with the micro-small details, such as the aforementioned content.

Ironically I created my PolyInContent Series to be more consistent, but it has been the LEAST consistent thing I've created. Even my sporadic interviews had been more regular. Luckily I've been able to get the swimming posts, PolyInContent Digest, and Now page out each time ON TIME.

Finding the time to do things isn't always the hard part, but rather getting myself to do them. I'm not intrinsically motivated like I was when I was working on my wordpress site. Where I'd go home after three jobs, and then stay up late to work on it. Maybe it was because I was younger, maybe the challenge was more thrilling, or perhaps just being a different task made the difference.

All in all, I still have a thousand content ideas in the pipeline, and that isn't even including things like PolyInnovator Gaming or Music, etc.

P.S. Of freaking course when editing my video portion of this update I have this egregious audio issue, where half of the audio goes in and out. Some spike high, and the rest way too quiet. It isn't as easy in Resolve to edit the audio either, so it is a super tedious process. The exact bloody issue I was describing as to why I don't like editing.