In the Matters of the Heart (Love Me Like There's No Tomorrow)

I created this Fireside Codex portion of the site as a public journal, and it isn't about the public aspect. Rather I feel that by writing I can organize my thoughts more succinctly, and I write best in the blog editor for some reason. I have been going through a roller coaster of emotions, and this song above has brought me to the edge of tears.

As someone who doesn't really cry, that threw me for a loop.

I started a new job a month ago, and it was my first full time one. However that wasn't the problem, as it was the hard work for 8 hours that really got me. I found my body aching more than it has after ten years working in a gym!

I found myself making friends there, as I do in most places I go, as it is the best way to make the shifts more engaging too. On the very first day I met a new friend that would turn my world upside down.

A Forbidden Romance

In the new job there are these corridors of books trailing on forever it seems. Akin to a labyrinthine maze, and you often spend a lot of time alone. For introverts it seems to be a heavenly job, but even for an ambivert myself (let alone extroverts) it is really hard to survive.

The energy from just a short interaction can get you going for a solid 30 minutes sometimes. I would run into this new friend quite often in our first week together. We started at the same time, but her time was limited from the start...

So, I guess there's a limit on how far we go
But we only have one more day together

Each time we'd pass in the book halls we both just instinctively smiled all the way to the eyes/crows feet. It was pure and natural. With our wide smiles that would make the grand canyon jealous we'd say hello and goodbye until our next "accidental" encounter.

I quickly learned that depending on where you scan your location you can to a degree control where you get sent to next. We are retrieving books after all, and there is a system to the madness. I'd try to get within the range of my newfound crush, and as it turns out she was doing something similar too I later found out.

Me being flirty by nature I found myself probably being a bit overbearing, and despite our lovely encounters she exclaimed we can only be friends.